Curse

hey, Let me tell you a secret.

I am cursed.

yes cursed. you don’t hear it wrongly. Curses that was  defined as something evil or unpleasant that happens to someone or something, by or as if by a magical power. Well at least that was the definition by Cambridge dictionary. Or to put it’s simple, yes  I am talking  about the one you know from your old bed time story. And i’m not even kidding.

Oh okay i know you probably start to think that i am over-thinking.  but let’s got through some facts here. Ever since i was a kid i always be different. When the other kids begging for the things they want, i was just never say it. Candies, toys or what ever it is -no matter how bad i want it i will never ask. And Its not only for the things i want, -things i hate, things i don’t agree, everything. At first i just thought that i was probably just my fear. Fear that every one will think i am annoying, needy or clingy. Or maybe it was my pride that prevent those word slip out of my tongue. Whatever it is , it’s chronic enough to built a steel wall.

Okay, now maybe you think that i am actually just an introverted person. But i can assure you that’s not the case. My life is an open book. Well, i am not saying that i don’t have secret. But I pretty much share everything. That’s also the reason why you’re here right now listening to my nonsense rambling.The thing is just that i cannot say some particular thing.

So there is no other more logical explanation rather than cursed.

I’ll rather being left alone rather than admit that i need someone.

I’ll rather crying inside-out than saying that fucking 4 letter word.

I’ll rather consider as cold rather that show it on my face .

It just never come out. It never slip through my tongue. Eventually, it make me a big fat liar.

That’s why i pretty sure i was cursed. Or maybe it was Karma.

Whatever it is. I’ll never be a blunt person, never was and never will.

This is my curse.

 

So when i said i love you.

You should know that i really mean it.

 

 

 

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