hey, Let me tell you a secret.

I am cursed.

yes cursed. you don’t hear it wrongly. That curse –  something evil or unpleasant that happens to someone or something, by or as if by a magical power according to Cambridge dictionary.Or to put it’s simple, it’s curse just like the one you know from your old bed time story.

and i’m not even kidding.

Ever since i was a kid i always be different. When the other kids begging for the things they want, i was just never say it. Candies, toys or what ever it is -no matter how bad i want it i will never ask. And Its not only for the things i want, -things i hate, things i don’t agree, everything.

Oh okay i know you probably start to think that i am over-thinking. That i am actually just an introverted person. But i can assure you that’s not the case. My life is an open book. Well, i am not saying that i don’t have secret. But I pretty much share everything. That’s also the reason why you’re here right now listening to my nonsense rambling.

It is just that i cannot say some particular thing.

At first i just thought that i was probably just my fear. Fear that every one will think i am annoying, needy or clingy. Or maybe it was my pride that prevent those word slip out of my tongue. Whatever it is , it’s chronic enough to built a steel wall.

So I’ll rather being left alone rather than admit that i need someone.

So I’ll rather crying inside-out than saying that fucking 4 letter word.

So I’ll rather consider as cold rather that show it in my face .

It just never come out. It never slip through my tongue. though it make me a big fat liar.

stubborn? pathetic ? well maybe. that’s the price i need to pay for this cursed.


I’ll never be a blunt person, never was and never will.

This is my curse.


So when i said i love you.

You should know that i really mean it.





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